Self-doubt began to overshadow my creativity. I doubted the strength of my voice. I wondered if anyone even cared about the things I wanted to create anymore. I carried a lot of hurt and pain, and those dark feelings made it harder and harder to reach out and connect with people. What should have been the greatest achievement of my life felt more and more like a burden I’d somehow forced myself to carry.
I bought a MacBook Pro this last Fall after starting my new job. The original intent was to use it for writing. And I have. I’ve written quite a bit, as a matter of fact. I’m a Windows user primarily, but I did use a Mac when I worked for Pearson School Systems some years ago. It wasn’t my preferred OS, but I don’t really have anything against Macs. Naturally, this begs the question: Why buy a Mac now? Well, my favorite writing and publishing applications are native to the platform, and that’s a pretty big deal. Anything that makes writing easier is a big plus in my book.Anyway… Every time I boot into my Mac, I get this friendly … Read More
When I had the first idea for Chlorophyllium 9 as a short story in 2008, it was a flash of inspiration, but just a tiny snippet of the story as a whole. Like a glimpse at a scene, I knew there were several more layers to uncover before the rest of the idea revealed itself. But that one image has remained the heart of the story, even as it’s grown to almost novel length.
Internalizing this today, I think about those moments spent treading water and I can’t help but compare them to my writing journey. I feel like I’m treading water, struggling just to stay above the surface. Yet, unlike those days in my youth, I have a lot more baggage now. Staying afloat also means fighting my demons.
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